Identity crisis
by Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. Throughout the years, Dick struggles with his inner demons as Robin and Nightwing.


**Something that occured to me after re-binging **_**Titans **_**and reading some **_**Nightwing**_** comic books.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**DC Comics **_**or **_**Batman **_**or **_**Nightwing**_** comic books.**

* * *

12-year old Dick was sitting at the grave of his parents as Mr. Haly, his mentor and owner of Haly's Circus, sat next to him.

"They loved you, you know that, Dick." Haly said. "They would be proud of you, you know that, right?"

"It was a sabotage. I overheard the cops." Dick said, much to Haly's surprise. "They burned the trapeze ropes with acid. And the police can't find them."

"You shouldn't worry about it, Dickie." Haly tried to assure him.

"Is it true?" Dick whirled on Haly, who nodded reluctantly.

"They'll face justice. Someone will find them." Haly assured Dick. "I spoke with Abigail. It sounds like Bruce Wayne really wants to take you in."

"What? What about you? I want to be with you, Raya, Percy and everyone else." Dick said, more than a little surprised.

"I know. But your parents would want what's best for you. And you're my family too, Dickie but…" Haly explained.

"Living with you is what's best for me." Dick protested.

"Bruce Wayne is a very wealthy and good man. And he can give you everything I can't." Haly said as Dick's eyes filled with tears.

"I don't want to go. Please. Don't make me go." Dick turned to Haly.

"Dickie, trust me. I want to look after you but I can't. Bruce Wayne… he can look after you like I never could. And I know you'll be strong, son. I'm sure Mary and John believe it's best for you." Haly said, holding Dick's shoulder.

* * *

Dick angrily threw one of his shurikens at a target as Barbara entered.

"I thought you might have had some fun." Barbara said.

"It wasn't fun at all." Dick snapped. "The Joker."

"Oh." Barbara said, realizing what happened. "He is… scary."

"Bruce said I should have stayed back but I didn't listen." Dick sighed. "Now I think he was right."

"What happened?" Barbara asked.

Dick paused before speaking up, pain in his eyes. "A lot of people died. I… I can't do this anymore, Babs."

"I don't blame you." Barbara nodded. "But do you think he's going to quit too? The Joker?"

"No." Dick admitted. "Bruce says the Joker kills just for the fun of it. Because he can and we can't stop him. Why do you always have to be right?!" He snapped angrily.

"Because I'm a bit older, smarter and prettier than you, Dick." Barbara teased as Dick chuckled. "You can't give up on hope. If you stop believing, then this is all for nothing."

Dick smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate your help. At least you're better at pep talk, than Bruce. Well, he's good at anything but pep talk."

"I'm always here for you, Dick. You know that." Barbara said.

* * *

"Wow. Taking down the dude who killed your parents must have felt awesome." Jason Todd said as he looked at old news articles about Dick, who was calling himself Nightwing nowadays as Jason freshly started as Robin.

"Yeah. That's the problem. If I were you, I wouldn't get a fun out of it much. All those years Bruce was helping me, he was making me his weapon in his war. And he may have you convinced that you can get anything you want but you can't un-learn and turn off what he teaches you and you can't control it. Trust me, going down this road, it's gonna fill you up with so much darkness, one day, you're gonna snap and you might beat the crap out of a good man just for the fun of it." Dick warned. "There's a price to pay for wearing that mantle. And trust me, if you don't know what you're getting yourself into, it might become too high for you." Dick said, still bitter after he and Bruce had a falling out and he quit as Robin.

* * *

"Master Bruce… filled the pain inside him the only way he knew." Alfred explained as Dick was tired of becoming Nightwing and stared at the fireplace. "With anger and violence. And some people, like Miss Prince or Master Kent, Wonder Woman or Superman… protect the innocent. Batman punishes the guilty. But you're not either of them, Master Grayson. Maybe you should reconsider what being Nightwing costs you and think what you can do as Dick Grayson. That darkness you carry, it may infect everyone around you. And I think we all know the best how it turned out for Master Bruce. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"I'm trying to." Dick said.

"You can't have it both ways, Master Grayson." Alfred explained. "Not since you took on that mask. And you can't be Nightwing or Robin because ultimately, those are only echo chambers for Master Wayne's pain and yours."

"I'm not Batman." Dick protested.

"Don't be Batman or Nightwing. Be something else." Alfred said. "Someone, who doesn't need to channel the darkness within you."

* * *

Dick was hanging on a trapeze until he descended down.

"Hey, Dickie, you have a visitor!" One of his acrobat friends called out as Dick saw his former lover, Barbara, coming to him and hugging him.

"Hey, Dick."

"Hi." Dick said as he eyed Barbara. "Glad you're back on your feet."

"Few weeks now. Still getting the hang of it." Barbara said. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. I am." Dick said.

"Are you sure about quitting?" Barbara asked.

"Barbara, whenever I take on that mask, I become something dark and twisted and that's not who I want to be anymore." Dick said.

"Maybe." Barbara considered. "But you know that some things you can't walk away from."

"What are you trying to say?" Dick asked.

"Dick Grayson can be something more than Nightwing. If you let him be. But what is your real face and what mask are you hiding behind? Dick Grayson? Prodigy acrobat of Haly's? Or Nightwing?" Barbara asked. "I just want to know." Dick considered. "This city will always need people in masks. Crime is escalating and we need everyone. I'm not forcing you to do something you don't want but tell me honestly… what do you really want? Peace? Or justice?"

Dick paused, not sure how to answer that as he turned to the crate, in which he had Nightwing suit.

* * *

**I hope I handled Dick's inner struggle and identity crisis well.**

**Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.**

**With regards**

**_Bl4ckHunter_**


End file.
